A: A big piece is grief. A big piece is a funny sort of ambivalence where a person says, 'Really nice to have met you. Really nice to have gotten to know you a little better. Where's the medicine?' I have a feeling of responsibility that I can't say I'm entirely proud of. I did what I felt was right, given bad choices. But frankly, maybe I'm kidding myself a little bit, but it's better to not feel good about this. . I have to admit, I am blown away by how different this felt than a natural death. And I am still not clear on what to make of that. . Just the suddenness of it. It's shocking to have somebody go from telling a family story to being dead. It's a strange, strange, strange transition. 21
If you argue with him, he says you're stubborn.
If you're quiet, he argues with you anyway.
If you call him, he says you're needy and clingy.
If he calls you, he thinks you should be grateful.
If you don't act like you love him, he'll try to win you over.
If you tell him you love him, he takes advantage of you.
If you dress sexy, he says you're a slut.
If you don't dress nice, he says you look bad.
When you don't sleep with him, he says you don't love him.
If you do sleep with him, he only does it the way he likes it.
If you tell him your problems, he says you're bothering him,
If you don't, he says you don't trust him.
If you try to bring up a problem, he says you're bitching.
If he brings up a problem, he yells.
If you break a promise, you "can't be trusted".
If he breaks it, it's because "he had to".
If you cheat, he wants to punish you by locking you up or beating you.
If he cheats, he expects to be given another chance.
It's no surprise, once you understand the distress that soldiers experience during war, that they find it hard to be the same, emotionally, ever again. Some may say that their inability to form close bonds with loved ones is due to the experience of near death and the fear that they will leave someone behind. The emotional effects of war on soldiers very often hinders their future achievements too as they find it impossible to imagine or plan. Veterans of war who experience PTSD without adequate counseling and care often do not marry or have children, perhaps because they have experienced near death and have severe difficulty letting go of the idea that they may die any day.